WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
