Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
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Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
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How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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