I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Randomize
