The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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