I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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