For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
