my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
third nipple confirmed
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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