I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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