I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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