soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
