god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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