Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
