On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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