omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
