Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
