its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
So much Jack, so little girl.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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