Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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