the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I want to make a zoo with you.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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