please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
