I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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