Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Vodka?
Forever.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
