i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
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