508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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