Its about making memories worth repressing
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
