so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
