who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
