anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
