so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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