Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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