I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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