i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
