Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
