I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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