I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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