My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
