I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize