Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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