She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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