I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
