Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
