what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
New York to be Host to Americaâ€™s Biggest Singles Event
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Kylie Jenner Wasnâ€™t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.