i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?