i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
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Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
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We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.