i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
