So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
