OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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