he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
