yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
