The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
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He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
it's like heaven, but drunker
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
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Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank