Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(936): View more from Texas

Bea Arthur died! :(

(214): View more from Texas

What?

(936): View more from Texas

Big bird passed.

Fav 8 895 1397
share tweet
(281): View more from Texas

Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.

Fav 11 1175 735
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(631): View more from New York

I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.

(1-631): View more from New York

I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.

Fav 50 7676 2288
share tweet
(701): View more from North Dakota

she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.

Fav 13 1254 4435
share tweet
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(720): View more from Colorado

When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.

Fav 13 1278 4434
share tweet
(816): View more from Missouri

He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.

Fav 37 16306 1523
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(704): View more from North Carolina

I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.

Fav 4 1340 2790
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(540): View more from Virginia

A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.

Fav 3 1568 606
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(815): View more from Illinois

My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.

Fav 0 1070 457
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT