So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
