she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
