Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
