just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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