i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Randomize