he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
