So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
