Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
