My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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