the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
