You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
