I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Randomize
