Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I'm passing your future prison.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
