You just made me feel so damn special
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
