I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
