i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
