Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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