You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
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It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
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my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
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