u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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